Abuse & Affection
by SwitchbladeSister
Summary: Relationships are such wonderful things arnt they? Sometimes a dream come true even! So what happens when your fairytale ending becomes a hellish beginning?
1. Thoughts & Reasons

Relationships are _wonderful_ things aren't they? **It's ****_nice_**** having someone** who loves and cherishes you, thinking the world of you. Someone who you can share your _deepest_ and _darkest_ secrets with, knowing they won't **judge** you. They love **you for who you are**, not how you look or **what you've done in the past**. They don't try and _change_ you, yet support you if you ever wish to change yourself.

When you're in love you seem to be so much _happier_, especially when you are with your beloved. It could be that you are having a day out at a park or a beach, maybe even a theatre or an amusement park. Maybe you are having a _quiet_ day in after a few long and hard days of working. Regardless of where you are or what you're doing, being with your partner is a _joyous_ and _pleasant_ time. You may not be doing anything more than chatting while sitting next to them, or you might be tangled together in bed during more amorous activities.

I've seen my fair share of couples milling around both Ikebukuro and Shinjuku. Many of them happy and infatuated with their respective partners, some were content, the initial flames of their romances having simmered down somewhat. There was also a small minority, a few couples who no longer _loved_ each other, but there was no _hate_ either. They were friends, remaining together for either financial benefits or other conveniences. I was not surprised to see one couple rowing over debts, infidelity or other familial ills.

I myself tend to **_try_** **and stay away** from relationships of the amorous sort. I have my family and a friend or two for company. I am by no means a shut in, but I am content with my circle **of social relations**. I talk to many people on a daily basis, it comes with the job. I have to converse with those I come in contact with and therefore I cannot afford but be a shut in, an introvert if you will. I have my reasons for not wanting a partner, past relationships either didn't work out, or I was _using_ them for one thing or another. Granted **I have grown** out of my selfish ways, well mostly anyway. I still think about myself more than others, but I no longer use people for my own gains.

Due to these past experiences, **_one_** in particular, I no longer even _entertain_ the notion, the idea of having a romantic **partner**. I have no desire for company, for someone living in my apartment with me, **caring** for and **about me**. Might I change my opinion on this matter? It's _possible_; however it would take someone quite _special_ and _stubborn_ to ensure that. **I wish** to be alone, though that may change, who knows?

As for this past experience which for lack of better wording, broke me, it's simple really. I 'the great Izaya Orihara' am not as invincible as I may appear. I too have lapses in judgement; I make mistakes just like anyone else. I trusted a man more that I should have. I let him in, where not even family had been, he knew me inside and out then used what he knew against me.

If I told you that I had unwittingly and unknowingly entered what would become an abusive relationship, would you believe me? Of course you wouldn't, all I do is lie… isn't that right, Shiki-san? ~


	2. A Request for Help

I heard the front door slam, but the sound didn't register through the crippling fear. I was too _afraid_ to move from where I lay, despite the small shards of glass cutting my back and arms. My only movement was me shaking, my composure shattered. My injuries were the least of my concern, the fear had arisen from a realisation I had. This time was worse than all the others combined, this time I realised something. He may actually **_kill _****me** one day.

Usually I only had to endure a punch or kick, maybe a book thrown at me. On rarer occasions I have suffered burns from cigars. I've been pushed and pulled around, pinned down if he was feeling horny, never asked for consent. This is a small fraction of what I've put up with for this last year. This is nothing compared to today, today is the day I realized just how serious this really is. I am in an abusive relationship and **I want out**.

I carefully pulled myself into a sitting position, hissing lightly in pain as the pieces of glass moved within the cuts. **I've** suffered many cuts in my life but not like this. Never have I been thrown onto a glass table. I had **already suffered** a few injuries beforehand. However that is beside the point, he threw me into the table, knowing it would shatter with the force. What if he had thrown me into the window? I would have fallen and been seriously hurt if not dead. I need to get out of this relationship I've had **enough**, but **I'm afraid** and I don't know how. If I break up with him he will get violent, he'll shout and tell me I belong to him. In the past he had told me that no one else would want me, that I was worthless and that when he was finished with me, no one would even want to look at me.

How did I even end up here? He was such a gentleman at first; he's a good boss, respectable and knowledgeable. However a month after beginning a relationship with him, he hit me. At first I thought it was ok, after all I had accidently messed up an important business opportunity and I assumed he had hit me out of anger and frustration at the deal. Especially after the way he apologised and fussed over me making sure I was alright. I should have left him then and there, but I seriously thought it'd be a one-off. I could not have been more wrong, I should have realised sooner.

I stood up, wincing at the pain. Then I realised, he could come back at any time, he could try anything when he came back. **I** wasn't safe here alone. I needed someone here, I considered calling Shinra due to the fact I **need** this glass out of my back and arms, but he wouldn't be able to do anything if _he_ returned. I hated to admit it but there was only one person I could think of who could help. I doubt he'd help, hell he may even laugh at me but I needed **him**…

Letting out a small sigh I retrieved my cellphone and sent a text to Shinra asking him over to take care of my injuries. Then I made a call to someone I thought I never would, I'm not even sure why I have his number. When he answered I threw away a bit of the pride I had left to speak. "Hey Shizu-chan, I…I _need_ your **help**…please come here…**please**…"


	3. A Helping Hand

"Hey Shizu-chan, I…I need your help…please come here…please…"

When I picked up my phone without bothering to look at the number, I hadn't expected it to be the flea. What surprised me even more was him saying he needed me. _Izaya Orihara_ needed _me_, Shizuo Heiwajima his _enemy_. He even said please, twice. I've never heard that word leave his lips, never in all my years of knowing him. He was too prideful to ask for help, what had happened to make him ask _me_? Why did he sound so afraid? He never sounded afraid, never…

"Flea..? What's wrong?" I didn't feel right asking since we were enemies and all but something has shaken him and if _I_ couldn't scare him, who could? I waited for a reply, but all he did was urge me to come over and fast. I reassured him I would before I hung up and began to make my way there. I wonder what's happened and why he called me of all people. At first I thought it a trap, but I could tell by his voice it wasn't. He sounded terrified, even though I don't like Izaya I didn't like hearing him so scared. It just doesn't seem right…

When I reach his apartment I knock on his door and hear a weak "Door's o-open" from inside. I frown slightly hearing him stutter and head inside, surprised at what I see. Izaya is facing away from me, Shinra standing next to him, focused on his back. I can see his back clearly; red with blood, light reflecting off of what I suspect is glass, most likely from the shattered coffee table laying on the ground and Izaya's blood staining the carpet. "What happened here..?" Izaya seemed to hand his head a little before looking to Shinra. "He's told me and I doubt he wants to repeat it, but I can for him. Shiki of the Yakuza threw him onto the table. He knew it'd shatter…" As Shinra explained I was a little confused. "Why'd he do that? Why would that scare you Izaya?" The flea looked away, probably wanting to keep what pride he had left. "He…he's hurt me before. I've been with h-him for a year now, this is the worst he's done…" I was about to ask why he didn't leave the dick but Izaya continued "He used to be so kind at first, after the first time I thought it wouldn't happen again…I was wrong. After today though…I knew, he might actually kill me. I'm scared." I didn't like hearing Izaya speak like this; I'm used to him being cocky and a pest, not fearful, like a child.

"Why did you call me? I understand calling Shinra since he can take care of your injuries, but why do you want me here?" I really wanted to know, I couldn't think why he'd call me over. "Ironically enough… I feel safe around you. I know you won't really kill me, you're not a murderer…" Well I wasn't expecting that I must admit. Izaya was one of the many who thought of me as a Monster, a beast to be feared. Well except Izaya was never afraid of me. "I'm surprised to hear you say that actually, usually you keep saying I'm a monster and stuff…" Izaya gave a half-hearted smile hearing that. "I may say it but I don't mean it I only say it to annoy you since I enjoy our chases. I know you can't help your temper or control your strength. You're a good guy unlike me."

That was even more unexpected; Izaya just more or less complimented me. He must really want to have me stay around for a bit if he's being nice. Shinra had now removed the glass from Izaya's back and had wrapped his torso in bandages to deal with the bleeding and stuff. He told Izaya to take it easy before leaving. "You need to leave Shiki you know." Izaya looked up at me a little confused, it was sorta cute…ok no not going there. "I know that but why are you saying it? Why do you care?" I thought a little, wondering how to word what I wanted to say properly, and then I just thought 'fuck it'. "Well right now I don't care about us being enemies or whatever. You're scared of Shiki coming back and abusing you again, so I'm gonna help. Doesn't matter if it's you; a guy who's caused me a lot of shit in the past, no one should abuse people they are supposed to care about. If I were your boyfriend I would protect you and stuff, not hurt you. Shiki is a shit boyfriend." I will admit it took me a couple of minutes and seeing Izaya looking confused and lightly blushing to realise what I just said.

"Well you've made yourself sound like a better boyfriend than Shiki…though that was not what you meant to say…" See? This is why I should think before I speak _instead_ of just thinking 'fuck it'. I know what I meant and it wasn't meant to come out like that, oh well. "Oi flea, where do you keep your dustpan and brush?" he blinked at me before responding "Under the sink…why?" I didn't respond I simply went to get them before beginning to clean up the bits of glass on the carpet. I said I'd help but I didn't just mean if Shiki came back. I also didn't want Izaya getting any more cuts from this, his back looked bad enough. "Y-you don't have to do that…"

"Shinra said you gotta take it easy flea, besides this is nothing and you're cut up enough so I'll do it." I could see him pout a little out of the corner of my eye, no doubt he's internally moaning about how he can do this perfectly fine. I was gonna help Izaya whether it was the kind of help he wanted or not.

I didn't realise at the time, but this would have a long term impact on how we act toward each other.


	4. Shiki & Shizu-chan

I've been fine for this past week, why did it have to happen today? The day I tell Shizu-chan to go to work, that I'll be fine and Shiki came back. I shouldn't have told Shizu-chan to go. He's the only one who could have protected me and I had sent him away for the day. I'm such an idiot…

The day started out fine, I cooked some breakfast and we had a bit of chit-chat as we ate. He asked if I was going anywhere today to which I said no, and then suggested he go to work. I believed I would be fine for one day, I didn't think Shiki would visit me today. It's like he _knew_ I'd be alone…

I called Shizu-chan, trying my best to hold my phone still against my ear but I was shaking far too much. Shiki had just left after trying to get me to sleep with him. I didn't want to but that wasn't a good enough reason for him, he kept trying to convince me with his words and his touches. Then as he realised it wasn't working, he decided to put out his cigar and leave, my neck being his ashtray. It hurt but the fear was stronger than the pain, I just wanted Shizu-chan here. When he answered I told him I needed him back over here, he assured me he was on his way and hung up. I set my phone down on my desk, relieved that Shizu-chan would be back soon. In the space of a few days we'd gone from enemies to almost friends. We were like the kind of friends who got along but didn't need to interact much to be content. It was strange how they didn't even really argue anymore. Maybe if their first meeting had gone different, they would have been friends.

I wasn't waiting long before Shizu-chan walked through my door. "What did the asshole do this time?" I looked away, a little reluctant to tell him. We weren't really close but Shizu-chan seemed a little protective over me now. I wasn't sure how to feel about that but I couldn't really do anything about it. Turns out I didn't have to tell him as he spotted the burn and pulled the collar of my shirt down slightly to see it properly. "What the hell made him do that?!" I sighed; I wasn't going to get out of telling him. "He came over, acting like he didn't hurt me last time. He tried to get me to sleep with him. When I refused and he realised he wasn't getting anywhere, he put out his cigar on me and walked out..." I couldn't bring myself to look at him, I felt a little like a failure. I couldn't seem to help myself and I was relying on him for protection. I blinked when I felt him wrap his arms around me. I hadn't expected him to hug me, but what surprised me more was how safe I felt in those arms.

"I'm not leaving you on your own again until that bastard gets a taste of his own medicine." I simply nodded and shyly returned the hug. I'd only ever really been hugged by my sisters, so having someone else hug me, let alone someone like shizu-chan hug me was quite unusual. Shizu-chan didn't seem to mind; if anything it seemed that he hugged me a little tighter.

We stayed like that for a few minutes before we moved apart. Shizu-chan went to get a drink and I went to sit on the couch. I wondered what it would be like if I had never become Shiki's boyfriend and if Shizu-chan and I had become civil with one another. Shizu-chan would definitely have been granted the peaceful life he wished for. Maybe he could still have it, once Shiki left me alone, I wouldn't try and make us enemies again. I rather like the idea of being friends with Shizu-chan.

A hour or three later we were both sat on the couch, watching a movie, one of Kasuka's to be precise. I was amazed to see how good an actor he is despite being so expressionless in person. I had glanced at Shizu-chan a few times and each time he was smiling, watching his brother act. I noticed he looked quite different smiling, but different in a nice way. The next time I glanced at him however, I was surprised to see he was looking back at me. I blinked having expected him to still be watching the film. "What is it..?" I couldn't help but ask, I was curious what made him look at me, not that I minded. "You keep glancing at me and I was wondering why." I felt my cheeks heat up a tad at that; I didn't think he'd notice. Seems he's sharper than I thought. "it's nothing, though I didn't think you'd notice…" he chuckled lightly, he didn't appear to mind me glancing at him.

I blinked when I heard a knock at the door, then paled as I realised it'd be Shiki. Before I could respond, the door opened. "Izaya, I'm back". I gulped; I couldn't predict what would happen with Shiki and Shizu-chan both here. This wasn't good. "W-welcome back Shiki…" I mentally cursed myself for stuttering. Shiki made his way over, raising an eyebrow when he noticed I wasn't alone. Then I raised an eyebrow as Shizu-chan stood and made his way to Shiki, stopping in front of him, glaring. This was bad…


	5. A Protozoan's Protection

I was slightly worried as I watched Shizu-chan approach Shiki. Shiki simply raised his eyebrow and spoke "Heiwajima-san, what brings you here?" As always, he acts like everything fine. Shizu-chan was glaring at Shiki and looked angry. Shiki didn't seem fazed by the glare then raised his eyebrow as Shizu-chan spoke. "You're an asshole, you know that?!" Shizu-chan really is protective of me… how odd. "Pray tell, how did you come to _that_ conclusion Heiwajima-san?" Shizu-chan continued glaring at him but he pointed to me. "Izaya, I saw how cut up his back was after you threw him into that glass table. He also had a few fading bruises that time too. This time he has a cigar burn on his neck. What sadistic piece of shit does something like that to their _boyfriend_?! Even I don't hurt Izaya like that and I used to chase him trying to _kill_ him!"

I knew that I must look scared or at the very least worried, and felt worse when Shiki turned to face me. "So you did tell someone, I thought you trusted me Izaya." Now I may be crazy but I swear I just heard Shizu-chan growl out of anger. I've never heard him growl, despite how angry I ever made him. "You fucking beat him! How the hell is he supposed to trust _anyone_?! Let alone you!" I must admit, it hurt a little to see Shiki shrug as if he didn't care at all. "Don't you care?! You're his boyfriend, you're supposed to care rather than beat the shit outta him!" Shiki looked at me a short while longer before turning to face Shizu-chan again. "To be truthful I have never once said to Izaya that I cared about him, yet he never complained."

"You know what, I'm done." I all but jumped from my seat when Shizu-chan punched Shiki square in the face. I didn't think I could get any more surprised at this point, but Shizu-chan proved me wrong with his next words. "You come near him again, if you ever even _try_ to hurt him again, I will _kill_ you." Shiki was holding his nose, bleeding and probably broken. He was certainly not pleased with being punched. "That was not wise Heiwajima-san…" Shizu-chan made a sound of disbelief. "It wasn't wise? Like I give a flying fuck! Yakuza or not you're just an abusive asshole!" Shiki started to mention he could have the whole yakuza after Shizu-chan, which I protested against but Shizu-chan cut us both off. The tone of voice he spoke in was a little scary and very intimidating; thankfully he was speaking to Shiki and not me. "Do it, I dare you. Send your men after me, it won't be my head on a silver platter, it'll be yours. Guess what, you won't have a body attached to that head. So you have a choice, either get that white suit stained red or leave Izaya the fuck alone." Shizu-chan's voice dripped with venom and I blinked in surprise as Shiki looked between us both before leaving without a word. I knew this wasn't the last time I'd see shiki, but I had Shizu-chan to help me.

As soon as Shiki left, Shizu-chan sat back on the couch next to me. "That asswipe better stay the fuck away from you…" I smiled a little, he was very protective and I decided I liked it. "I've never heard you sound so angry, not even when we used to fight. Thank you for sticking up for me though…" I blinked a bit when he pulled me onto his lap and hugged me. "You don't need to thank me Izaya; you shouldn't even need someone to stick up for you, hell you shouldn't have to deal with people like him. Are you alright?" I nodded; it'd been quite a while since someone asked me if I was ok. "After all this is over, I don't want to go back to fighting. After seeing you like that…I've just lost the fight I had." I knew he'd say something like this sooner or later, but I didn't mind. It was nice having Shizu-chan as a friend rather than an enemy. I moved a little closer in the hug, Shizu-chan was comfortable and warm. "I don't mind that. I actually like how we've been interacting recently. We get along quite well, it's a nice change."

I stayed on his lap for a few minutes before bursting out in laughter since Shizu-chan had randomly decided to tickle me. I am very ticklish and in a half-hearted attempt to get away, I fell onto the floor pulling him with me. This caused Shizu-chan to land on his back, and me on top with our faces a few centimetres apart. We were both faintly blushing at the close proximity, yet neither of us made an effort to move. I only moved after blushing further due to a sudden urge to lean closer and kiss Shizu-chan. I stood up and offered a hand to help Shizu-chan up, wondering where the hell that urge just came from. After he was on his feet, I headed to the kitchen to prepare something for dinner.

I donned an apron and rolled up my sleeves before gathering the needed ingredients and started preparing dinner. I was only going to do something simple as I didn't like fuss, food is food and as long as it's nice who cares how simple or difficult the dish was.

**Shizuo POV-**

I'm not sure why, but I was watching Izaya prepare dinner and I felt like hugging him. He was humming to himself and swaying his hips as he prepared the food. I walked behind Izaya and hesitated before hugging him. I felt him stiffen a bit not expecting the contact before relaxing and slowly continuing what he was doing. After a short while he paused in the preparation, only to turn around and hug me back. I liked hugging Izaya; he just seemed to fit there perfectly.

I smiled a bit seeing him blush faintly and had a sudden urge to kiss him. I don't know whether I just didn't bother thinking or thought it was a good idea, but I leant down and kissed him for a short moment. As I pulled away I saw that he looked quite shocked and was blushing deeply. Shit I just kissed him! Why did I do that?! What if he ends up hating me again? "Shit I'm sorry!" I let go of him and ran out of the apartment, a blush on my own face.

**Izaya POV-**

I stood there speechless and blushing. Shizu-chan just kissed me. He kissed me! What compelled him to do that? Why did he then run off? Does he think I'm going to be mad at him or something? "Dammit Shizu-chan, you so confusing and unpredictable…"


End file.
